SPN Fic: Reality Is All I've Got
Dec. 14th, 2007 03:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tinkabell007Title: Reality Is All I’ve Got
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
tinkabell007
Rating: NC17
Words: ~ 2400
Character: Sam, Dean, Evil!Sam/Ruby,
Warning: Okay ppl, this story isn’t funny or fluffy at all. It’s dark, as in very-bloody-torturing dark, with disturbing scenes and really, I’m not kidding here. ANGST like whoa…
Disclaimer: Sadly, nothing’s mine, would be cool though… *sigh*
Summary: A battle lost, a soul unsaved and the only thing that’s left is the bittersweet taste of failure.
Note: This story is dedicated tomichaela3105. She wished for a Sam/Ruby story for Christmas… so, here it is, sweetie! Hope you like it and wont kill me afterwards for it *g*
A huge, gigantic Thank You to my lovely betasgeminilove_ca and maritx You guys rock!!
His mouth lay heavily on her ruby sparkling lips. She almost tasted like strawberry, sweet and innocent. Except she was far from innocent, or sweet.
Her hands were sliding over his naked back, fingertips dancing on his skin. Nails, sharp as knifes, dug into his hot flesh, almost drawing blood. There would definitely be marks the next morning, he thought to himself, but somehow he just couldn’t bring himself to care.
He needed this; needed her to take him far away from this reality. His breath was deep and released in a moan of desire and need. He wanted to be here, wanted to drown within her, buried deep inside of her welcoming warm flesh.
When he thrust inside of her, it wasn’t gentle or sweet. It wasn’t about love. It has never been about love, and with every movement, he underlined this fact.
She moaned her approval of his pace, liked the way his huge body towered over her, trapping her underneath him. Her hips jerked up, meeting every thrust of him, forcing him to go even deeper.
His hands grabbed both of her arms, pinning them down above her head with a firm grip. He was in control. He needed to be in control.
Their lips crashed together again, demanding, almost hurtful. She bit down hard on his upper lip and got punished as he roughly pushed his tongue inside of her mouth, fighting a devilish battle, exploring this already so-well-known territory.
Both of her legs curled around his hips, her heels digging deeply into his ass, holding him inside of her. “Do you feel it?” she whispered, her voice shaky, giving away how close she was.
He just gasped in response, pounding faster into her, his grip on her arms was tensing, definitely leaving some bruises.
“There’s so much for you to learn, so much for you to see,” she whispered again, closing her eyes, letting the sensation of him inside of her washing through every fibre of her being
He felt his orgasm building, his body so close to what he was longing for, the few seconds that made him forget everything around him.
“But don’t worry…” she lifted her head slightly, her blond hair all tousled “I’ll show you…” she slowly licked alongside his left cheek. “I’ll guide you…”
Sam came hard, his cock jerking uncontrollably inside of her, tearing at her hot walls.
“I’ll guide you into darkness,” she breathed as climax hit her as well, forcing her to bite down on Sam’s shoulder, now definitely drawing blood.
Sam collapsed on top of her, exhausted, his breath shaky and ragged, but his body still connected with hers.
“Soon….” she whispered in his ear, stroking his damp hair softly, almost caring, but the triumphant, demonic smile never left her lips.
Sam’s eyes shot open. His breath was heavy and unsteady, his hard-on pressed painful against the boxer-shorts, waiting, almost demanding for relieve.
A dream… it had all been just a dream, Sam thought to himself, unable to get Ruby’s smell out of his nose, the feeling of her being trapped underneath him out of his system. She was so willing, so welcoming…
He shook the feeling off, tried to focus on going back to sleep, but the bittersweet sound of the word “soon” was still echoing in his head, following him into dreamland.
Almost Two Weeks Later
Dean never considered himself the begging-type. Well, except the one time he had tried to convince Sam to give him more time so they could figure out his whole destiny thing. Oh and maybe when he had went to the Crossroads demon and literally begged to bring his little brother back. But that was it. He had been in God knows how many battles, had been in countless fights and situations which often seemed to be his end. But he had always managed to get out, always found a way, but most of all, never begged for anything.
But as the sharp blade of the knife was cutting unstoppably through the soft and tender flesh of his cheek again, a red flood of blood pooling out, carving its way down his chin and throat, Dean caught himself breathing a broken “please”. His voice was drained from strength; his body finally gave in the pain of the last few hours of torture.
No, he’d never begged for anything concerning his damned life. Maybe the fact that he’d always known Sam was out there somewhere, covering his back, had given him hope. But this time, even this last string of hope had been stripped away.
Now, taken in consideration maybe it hadn’t been the best move to bring Sam back after all. The yellow-eyed bastard warned him, mocked him about his decision, but who was he kidding?
If it would come to this again, he would do it all the same. Maybe if he’d taken better care of him, never letting this Ruby chick get to him… maybe…
“What? You really thought you could save me? Save my poor little human soul from the big bad demon? Guess you are even more naive than I’ve ever thought,” Sam smiled, tilting his head to one side. “Or, you know, just plain stupid.”
Dean shot him a confused look, before, once again, realization sunk in. Mind reading. Awesome. Now couldn’t have Sam discovered this ability way earlier? Like when they were in Vegas?
“Always making a joke out of everything, aren’t ya?” Sam drew his lips together. “That’s what I like about you. Never losing the funny aspect of everything. Losing a loved one? Sure. Losing your own life in a couple of minutes? For certain, but hey, always going out with a joke.” He grinned again, “I know, going out in a blaze of glory, fighting the good fight would usually be your thing. But I guess the heroic kind of death is not really an option here, is it?” His eyes danced over the ropes, tying Dean’s blood-smeared hands to the chair.
“Come on, Sammy.” Dean’s eyes were bloodshot, his gaze beaten, the flame of hope almost completely devoured by desperation. “I know the real you is still in there.”
Sam laughed again, mockingly, almost taunting. “Oh, Dean, you still don’t get it, do you?” He stepped a few feet back and caught Dean’s gaze. “This is the real me. Always been, always will be. It just…” he trailed off, pretending to think. “It’s just that finally I’ve figured it out. My place in this world. I finally found my true self, my true darkness.”
Dean remained silent, closing his eyes, the iron taste of blood dominating his mouth.
“You know,” Sam continued, definitely enjoying Dean’s pain. “I’ve never thanked you for bringing me back. Spurting on that izzy-bizzy tiny spark of darkness that had always been lurking somewhere buried deep inside of me, longing to be free. And now look where we are, only a few months later.”
“Fuck you!” Dean spat back.
“Aw, sorry to disappoint you again, but Ruby’s already taking care of that.” Sam licked his lips, almost getting turned on by watching Dean squirming in pain in front of him. Physical, but most of all emotional pain – the best kind. He could see that his words were finally getting through Dean’s head, making him break, stripping away his last hope. And he enjoyed every single second of it.
“Oh come on, Dean,” Sam sneered again. “Dying’s not that bad, actually. Cross my heart!” He added, raising a hand. “People die all the time. It really doesn’t matter much. And believe me,” Sam’s voice suddenly changed, the cheerful tone gone, replaced by cold-hearted words. “No one will care about your death, cause there’s no one left.”
Dean opened his eyes again, searching Sam’s gaze. “Sammy, it’s not you talking here. It’s not…” He tried, more to convince himself than his opponent. “The Sam I know is the same that cried his eyes out in kindergarten because he found a bird with a broken wing on the street. The real Sam cares about life and death, cares about saving people’s life. But most of all, he cares about his brother, never letting anything happen to him.” His tone was warm, pleading, trying to get through the human spark left after this evil thing had crawled its way into Sam’s body. “Come on, Sammy, fight this thing inside of you.”
“Aw, we’re trying the emotional approach now?” Sam stepped closer to Dean and petted him playfully on the head. “How cute is that?”
“You. Are. Not. Sam.” Dean retorted, trying to jerk his head away, underlining every word with a forceful and serious tone.
“Darn…” Sam said playfully. “Guess I have to torture you just a little bit more to put some convincing into you.” As soon as he had finished his speech he threw another hard punch right at Dean’s already bruised and bloody face. His lip split open again, a red stain of blood seeking its way down Dean’s chin.
“Sam…” Ruby said warningly. “Are you done already? You know, bigger things to do, more important things to kill.” She sauntered into the room, swinging her hips seductively.
“Babe, come on, I’m almost done here.” Sam licked his lips again, fire burning behind his eyes. “Five minutes tops, okay?” He shot his puppy-dog gaze back at Ruby who just grinned and nodded, leaving them alone.
Yeah, the puppy eyes never failed to disappoint, Dean thought ridiculously to himself.
“She’s a real keeper, isn’t she?” Sam turned back to Dean.
“Bitch won’t see it coming when I slice her throat open,” Dean shot back, and was greeted by another hard punch.
“Watch your mouth. After all, she was the one finally showing me the right way, teaching me how to become whole.”
“Wow… congratulations,” Dean gritted his teeth. “Now that just makes me wanna kill that fucking whore even more.” Dean’s visual appearance revealed his brokenness, giving away the lost battle, but he was still in control of his mouth. And if he couldn’t fight back the traditional way, words had to do it.
Sam just shook his head and grinned. “You know, I kind of regret that I’ve tortured you the last couple of hours. It would have been way more fun untying you and you trying to really fight for your life. Could have been quite entertaining.” His eyes swept over Dean’s body, the blood-soaked clothes, the burn holes in his T-Shirt and, of course, the face, beaten to an almost unidentified bulk of bruises, his left eye swollen, cuts and scratches covering his cheeks and forehead.
“Well then, what are you waiting for?” Dean answered, seeing an opportunity to get his hands free. Okay, and as long as he didn’t have to stand up… or, you know, move at all, he could still fight this demonic bastard in front of him.
“Nah…too easy. Besides,” He started and let his eyes travel to the dead body on the right side of Dean’s chair. “Look at him. He considered himself a hunter and he didn’t even last two minutes. Now how pathetic is that?” Sam grinned again, exhilarated only by the sheer thought of how he had literally smashed Bobby’s head in. Now his broken body was lying on the floor, a huge puddle of blood surrounding him, outlining his beaten and dead form
Dean didn’t look, he had already stared at the scene way too long and the image of Bobby’s dead eyes was forever burned into his mind.
Sam suddenly raised the Colt. And yes, it was the special Colt, the one and only which had killed lots of evil sons of bitches. Somehow it was poetic, after all these fights, all the pain, Dean being the final one who would be killed by this weapon. Well, okay, it was almost poetic, Dean thought to himself.
“Okay now…” An indescribable coldness was radiating from Sam’s eyes, his whole body. It seemed that true darkness had devouring him whole and there was no coming back. His lips twitched with a satisfied smile as he addressed his final words to Dean. “Time’s up, contract’s expired. Say bye-bye.”
For the last time, Dean’s eyes focused on Sam; Sammy, his brother. This was it, this was the end. He’s failed, had disappointed his father and now his little brother as well.
Dean closed his eyes, trying to draw out every emotion, every thought about his failure. It felt like an eternity as he heard the clicking of the trigger, waiting for the pain that was about to come, raging through his flesh. An image of happy smiley Sam and better, carefree times, was shooting through his mind as the bullet hit its aim.
And then, everything went black.
________________
Dean bolted upwards. A thick and sticky layer of sweet covering his whole face, little pearls dancing on his upper lip. His breath was ragged and irregular, hot air was pressing out of his lunges.
“Hey…hey…” Sam shot up as well, his eyes focusing concerned on his brother. “You alright?”
“What?” Slowly, his eyes adjusted to the darkness, to the motel room he was in.
“You were having a bad dream,” Sam said softly, his voice smoothing.
Dean looked at his brother, all the memories of his dream suddenly rushed back. The evil grin, the coldness in his brother’s once so caring orbs…. A shudder ran through his whole body as he closed his eyes.
Sam stared at his brother, expecting him to reply, his eyes even more concerned now “Dean?”
“M’okay,” Dean finally answered, his gaze still drawn away from his little brother. “Back to sleep.”
“You wanna…” Sam started, but was immediately cut off by Dean.
“No! Said back to sleep.” Dean clawed his hands in the blankets, gripping them tightly, tugging them protectively against his still shivering body.
He knew Sam was concerned and a split second he considered telling him everything. Telling him about the fears he had since he’d brought him back, the doubts about Ruby helping them out but most of all, telling him that it wasn’t a dream he just had.
Dean closed his eyes again, hoping, that at least this night the vision would leave him alone.
The End.
Author:
tinkabell007 Rating: NC17
Words: ~ 2400
Character: Sam, Dean, Evil!Sam/Ruby,
Warning: Okay ppl, this story isn’t funny or fluffy at all. It’s dark, as in very-bloody-torturing dark, with disturbing scenes and really, I’m not kidding here. ANGST like whoa…
Disclaimer: Sadly, nothing’s mine, would be cool though… *sigh*
Summary: A battle lost, a soul unsaved and the only thing that’s left is the bittersweet taste of failure.
Note: This story is dedicated to
michaela3105. She wished for a Sam/Ruby story for Christmas… so, here it is, sweetie! Hope you like it and wont kill me afterwards for it *g* A huge, gigantic Thank You to my lovely betas
geminilove_ca and maritx You guys rock!!His mouth lay heavily on her ruby sparkling lips. She almost tasted like strawberry, sweet and innocent. Except she was far from innocent, or sweet.
Her hands were sliding over his naked back, fingertips dancing on his skin. Nails, sharp as knifes, dug into his hot flesh, almost drawing blood. There would definitely be marks the next morning, he thought to himself, but somehow he just couldn’t bring himself to care.
He needed this; needed her to take him far away from this reality. His breath was deep and released in a moan of desire and need. He wanted to be here, wanted to drown within her, buried deep inside of her welcoming warm flesh.
When he thrust inside of her, it wasn’t gentle or sweet. It wasn’t about love. It has never been about love, and with every movement, he underlined this fact.
She moaned her approval of his pace, liked the way his huge body towered over her, trapping her underneath him. Her hips jerked up, meeting every thrust of him, forcing him to go even deeper.
His hands grabbed both of her arms, pinning them down above her head with a firm grip. He was in control. He needed to be in control.
Their lips crashed together again, demanding, almost hurtful. She bit down hard on his upper lip and got punished as he roughly pushed his tongue inside of her mouth, fighting a devilish battle, exploring this already so-well-known territory.
Both of her legs curled around his hips, her heels digging deeply into his ass, holding him inside of her. “Do you feel it?” she whispered, her voice shaky, giving away how close she was.
He just gasped in response, pounding faster into her, his grip on her arms was tensing, definitely leaving some bruises.
“There’s so much for you to learn, so much for you to see,” she whispered again, closing her eyes, letting the sensation of him inside of her washing through every fibre of her being
He felt his orgasm building, his body so close to what he was longing for, the few seconds that made him forget everything around him.
“But don’t worry…” she lifted her head slightly, her blond hair all tousled “I’ll show you…” she slowly licked alongside his left cheek. “I’ll guide you…”
Sam came hard, his cock jerking uncontrollably inside of her, tearing at her hot walls.
“I’ll guide you into darkness,” she breathed as climax hit her as well, forcing her to bite down on Sam’s shoulder, now definitely drawing blood.
Sam collapsed on top of her, exhausted, his breath shaky and ragged, but his body still connected with hers.
“Soon….” she whispered in his ear, stroking his damp hair softly, almost caring, but the triumphant, demonic smile never left her lips.
Sam’s eyes shot open. His breath was heavy and unsteady, his hard-on pressed painful against the boxer-shorts, waiting, almost demanding for relieve.
A dream… it had all been just a dream, Sam thought to himself, unable to get Ruby’s smell out of his nose, the feeling of her being trapped underneath him out of his system. She was so willing, so welcoming…
He shook the feeling off, tried to focus on going back to sleep, but the bittersweet sound of the word “soon” was still echoing in his head, following him into dreamland.
Almost Two Weeks Later
Dean never considered himself the begging-type. Well, except the one time he had tried to convince Sam to give him more time so they could figure out his whole destiny thing. Oh and maybe when he had went to the Crossroads demon and literally begged to bring his little brother back. But that was it. He had been in God knows how many battles, had been in countless fights and situations which often seemed to be his end. But he had always managed to get out, always found a way, but most of all, never begged for anything.
But as the sharp blade of the knife was cutting unstoppably through the soft and tender flesh of his cheek again, a red flood of blood pooling out, carving its way down his chin and throat, Dean caught himself breathing a broken “please”. His voice was drained from strength; his body finally gave in the pain of the last few hours of torture.
No, he’d never begged for anything concerning his damned life. Maybe the fact that he’d always known Sam was out there somewhere, covering his back, had given him hope. But this time, even this last string of hope had been stripped away.
Now, taken in consideration maybe it hadn’t been the best move to bring Sam back after all. The yellow-eyed bastard warned him, mocked him about his decision, but who was he kidding?
If it would come to this again, he would do it all the same. Maybe if he’d taken better care of him, never letting this Ruby chick get to him… maybe…
“What? You really thought you could save me? Save my poor little human soul from the big bad demon? Guess you are even more naive than I’ve ever thought,” Sam smiled, tilting his head to one side. “Or, you know, just plain stupid.”
Dean shot him a confused look, before, once again, realization sunk in. Mind reading. Awesome. Now couldn’t have Sam discovered this ability way earlier? Like when they were in Vegas?
“Always making a joke out of everything, aren’t ya?” Sam drew his lips together. “That’s what I like about you. Never losing the funny aspect of everything. Losing a loved one? Sure. Losing your own life in a couple of minutes? For certain, but hey, always going out with a joke.” He grinned again, “I know, going out in a blaze of glory, fighting the good fight would usually be your thing. But I guess the heroic kind of death is not really an option here, is it?” His eyes danced over the ropes, tying Dean’s blood-smeared hands to the chair.
“Come on, Sammy.” Dean’s eyes were bloodshot, his gaze beaten, the flame of hope almost completely devoured by desperation. “I know the real you is still in there.”
Sam laughed again, mockingly, almost taunting. “Oh, Dean, you still don’t get it, do you?” He stepped a few feet back and caught Dean’s gaze. “This is the real me. Always been, always will be. It just…” he trailed off, pretending to think. “It’s just that finally I’ve figured it out. My place in this world. I finally found my true self, my true darkness.”
Dean remained silent, closing his eyes, the iron taste of blood dominating his mouth.
“You know,” Sam continued, definitely enjoying Dean’s pain. “I’ve never thanked you for bringing me back. Spurting on that izzy-bizzy tiny spark of darkness that had always been lurking somewhere buried deep inside of me, longing to be free. And now look where we are, only a few months later.”
“Fuck you!” Dean spat back.
“Aw, sorry to disappoint you again, but Ruby’s already taking care of that.” Sam licked his lips, almost getting turned on by watching Dean squirming in pain in front of him. Physical, but most of all emotional pain – the best kind. He could see that his words were finally getting through Dean’s head, making him break, stripping away his last hope. And he enjoyed every single second of it.
“Oh come on, Dean,” Sam sneered again. “Dying’s not that bad, actually. Cross my heart!” He added, raising a hand. “People die all the time. It really doesn’t matter much. And believe me,” Sam’s voice suddenly changed, the cheerful tone gone, replaced by cold-hearted words. “No one will care about your death, cause there’s no one left.”
Dean opened his eyes again, searching Sam’s gaze. “Sammy, it’s not you talking here. It’s not…” He tried, more to convince himself than his opponent. “The Sam I know is the same that cried his eyes out in kindergarten because he found a bird with a broken wing on the street. The real Sam cares about life and death, cares about saving people’s life. But most of all, he cares about his brother, never letting anything happen to him.” His tone was warm, pleading, trying to get through the human spark left after this evil thing had crawled its way into Sam’s body. “Come on, Sammy, fight this thing inside of you.”
“Aw, we’re trying the emotional approach now?” Sam stepped closer to Dean and petted him playfully on the head. “How cute is that?”
“You. Are. Not. Sam.” Dean retorted, trying to jerk his head away, underlining every word with a forceful and serious tone.
“Darn…” Sam said playfully. “Guess I have to torture you just a little bit more to put some convincing into you.” As soon as he had finished his speech he threw another hard punch right at Dean’s already bruised and bloody face. His lip split open again, a red stain of blood seeking its way down Dean’s chin.
“Sam…” Ruby said warningly. “Are you done already? You know, bigger things to do, more important things to kill.” She sauntered into the room, swinging her hips seductively.
“Babe, come on, I’m almost done here.” Sam licked his lips again, fire burning behind his eyes. “Five minutes tops, okay?” He shot his puppy-dog gaze back at Ruby who just grinned and nodded, leaving them alone.
Yeah, the puppy eyes never failed to disappoint, Dean thought ridiculously to himself.
“She’s a real keeper, isn’t she?” Sam turned back to Dean.
“Bitch won’t see it coming when I slice her throat open,” Dean shot back, and was greeted by another hard punch.
“Watch your mouth. After all, she was the one finally showing me the right way, teaching me how to become whole.”
“Wow… congratulations,” Dean gritted his teeth. “Now that just makes me wanna kill that fucking whore even more.” Dean’s visual appearance revealed his brokenness, giving away the lost battle, but he was still in control of his mouth. And if he couldn’t fight back the traditional way, words had to do it.
Sam just shook his head and grinned. “You know, I kind of regret that I’ve tortured you the last couple of hours. It would have been way more fun untying you and you trying to really fight for your life. Could have been quite entertaining.” His eyes swept over Dean’s body, the blood-soaked clothes, the burn holes in his T-Shirt and, of course, the face, beaten to an almost unidentified bulk of bruises, his left eye swollen, cuts and scratches covering his cheeks and forehead.
“Well then, what are you waiting for?” Dean answered, seeing an opportunity to get his hands free. Okay, and as long as he didn’t have to stand up… or, you know, move at all, he could still fight this demonic bastard in front of him.
“Nah…too easy. Besides,” He started and let his eyes travel to the dead body on the right side of Dean’s chair. “Look at him. He considered himself a hunter and he didn’t even last two minutes. Now how pathetic is that?” Sam grinned again, exhilarated only by the sheer thought of how he had literally smashed Bobby’s head in. Now his broken body was lying on the floor, a huge puddle of blood surrounding him, outlining his beaten and dead form
Dean didn’t look, he had already stared at the scene way too long and the image of Bobby’s dead eyes was forever burned into his mind.
Sam suddenly raised the Colt. And yes, it was the special Colt, the one and only which had killed lots of evil sons of bitches. Somehow it was poetic, after all these fights, all the pain, Dean being the final one who would be killed by this weapon. Well, okay, it was almost poetic, Dean thought to himself.
“Okay now…” An indescribable coldness was radiating from Sam’s eyes, his whole body. It seemed that true darkness had devouring him whole and there was no coming back. His lips twitched with a satisfied smile as he addressed his final words to Dean. “Time’s up, contract’s expired. Say bye-bye.”
For the last time, Dean’s eyes focused on Sam; Sammy, his brother. This was it, this was the end. He’s failed, had disappointed his father and now his little brother as well.
Dean closed his eyes, trying to draw out every emotion, every thought about his failure. It felt like an eternity as he heard the clicking of the trigger, waiting for the pain that was about to come, raging through his flesh. An image of happy smiley Sam and better, carefree times, was shooting through his mind as the bullet hit its aim.
And then, everything went black.
________________
Dean bolted upwards. A thick and sticky layer of sweet covering his whole face, little pearls dancing on his upper lip. His breath was ragged and irregular, hot air was pressing out of his lunges.
“Hey…hey…” Sam shot up as well, his eyes focusing concerned on his brother. “You alright?”
“What?” Slowly, his eyes adjusted to the darkness, to the motel room he was in.
“You were having a bad dream,” Sam said softly, his voice smoothing.
Dean looked at his brother, all the memories of his dream suddenly rushed back. The evil grin, the coldness in his brother’s once so caring orbs…. A shudder ran through his whole body as he closed his eyes.
Sam stared at his brother, expecting him to reply, his eyes even more concerned now “Dean?”
“M’okay,” Dean finally answered, his gaze still drawn away from his little brother. “Back to sleep.”
“You wanna…” Sam started, but was immediately cut off by Dean.
“No! Said back to sleep.” Dean clawed his hands in the blankets, gripping them tightly, tugging them protectively against his still shivering body.
He knew Sam was concerned and a split second he considered telling him everything. Telling him about the fears he had since he’d brought him back, the doubts about Ruby helping them out but most of all, telling him that it wasn’t a dream he just had.
Dean closed his eyes again, hoping, that at least this night the vision would leave him alone.
The End.